Inspirational Quotes from Ambrose Bierce

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Ambrose Bierce

Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.

Ambrose Bierce

Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.

Ambrose Bierce

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

Ambrose Bierce

War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.

Ambrose Bierce

Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.

Ambrose Bierce

Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means, as commonly interpreted, the right to vote for the man of another man’s choice, and is highly prized.

Ambrose Bierce

Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is – it is her shadow.

Ambrose Bierce

Destiny: A tyrant’s authority for crime and a fool’s excuse for failure.

Ambrose Bierce

Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

Ambrose Bierce

Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

Ambrose Bierce

Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

Ambrose Bierce

Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

Ambrose Bierce

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

Ambrose Bierce

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Ambrose Bierce

Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial; but if honest, and bent on thorough investigation, it may soon lead to full establishment of the truth.

Ambrose Bierce

Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

Ambrose Bierce

The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.

Ambrose Bierce

Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

Ambrose Bierce

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

Ambrose Bierce

Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

Ambrose Bierce

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

Ambrose Bierce

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

Ambrose Bierce

Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

Ambrose Bierce

There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.

Ambrose Bierce

Insurance – an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.

Ambrose Bierce

Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth – two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.

Ambrose Bierce

Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.

Ambrose Bierce

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Ambrose Bierce

Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man’s head.

Ambrose Bierce

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.

Ambrose Bierce

Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.

Ambrose Bierce

Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another’s resemblance to ourselves.

Ambrose Bierce

What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

Ambrose Bierce

Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

Ambrose Bierce

Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.

Ambrose Bierce

Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

Ambrose Bierce

Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.

Ambrose Bierce

Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

Ambrose Bierce

Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt.

Ambrose Bierce

Impartial – unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy.

Ambrose Bierce

Sabbath – a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.

Ambrose Bierce

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Ambrose Bierce

Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.

Ambrose Bierce

The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge.

Ambrose Bierce

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.

Ambrose Bierce

Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.

Ambrose Bierce

To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.

Ambrose Bierce

Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.

Ambrose Bierce

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

Ambrose Bierce

Genius – to know without having learned; to draw just conclusions from unknown premises; to discern the soul of things.

Ambrose Bierce

Erudition – dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.

Ambrose Bierce

Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.

Ambrose Bierce