Best Quotes from Bernie Mac

Only way you can you get upset is when you expecting something.

Bernie Mac

I love my daughter, but there’s a certain feeling, a certain emotion when you got a granddaughter, you know?

Bernie Mac

There’s no success story. Everybody’s got a ghetto story. You always want to make it bigger than what it is.

Bernie Mac

You know you poor when you eatin’ breakfast food late. You fryin’ toast? At nine o’clock at night? With bacon? You’re broke.

Bernie Mac

I get facials. I get a manicure and pedicure every week. I get my hair cut, and I oil myself down from head to toe. I got that from my brother. I was so impressed with how high maintenance he was. When he left the room, you could still smell him for an hour.

Bernie Mac

I’m looking for laughs, you know? If it take me to flip over a table, if I have to go physical comedy, I will do it. But whatever the joke needs at that particular time, is where I’m dedicated to. I’m not into beating somebody down and beating myself up. I don’t do insults and things like that. I don’t do it – I’m a storyteller.

Bernie Mac

Black audiences are hard. They always think they’re better than you. So you got to come with a little extra to satisfy them.

Bernie Mac

I’ve been in training for stardom.

Bernie Mac

Bernie Mac just says what you think but are afraid to say.

Bernie Mac

I’m not a star, and I don’t want to be a star. Stars fall. I’m an ordinary guy with an extraordinary job.

Bernie Mac

I’m funny. I’m a comedian. I’m not a clown.

Bernie Mac

I don’t ever watch myself. By watching, you try to perfect yourself, become a robot.

Bernie Mac

I hate to compare anything, especially while I’m promoting. I feel that’s another disrespect, but ‘Ocean’s 13’ is the best movie I’ve ever done in my life. No question.

Bernie Mac

I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I’d go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on ‘Laugh-In,’ Flip Wilson.

Bernie Mac

My family are police officers, detectives. My brother Mitch is FBI. Mitch is like that – a stern enforcer.

Bernie Mac

The success of my comedy has been not being afraid to touch on subject matters or issues that everyone else is politically scared of.

Bernie Mac

Bernie Mac is relentless. That’s one thing I like about him. He’s not PC. He doesn’t care what you think. He’s going out there to please that audience.

Bernie Mac

As I got older, I got into all kinds of things in the streets – but for some reason, I never got caught up with the gangs growing up. Everybody dug me, man. I never had problems.

Bernie Mac

I can’t build myself by beating somebody down.

Bernie Mac

I don’t need to pat myself on the back until my arm breaks. I don’t need any of that.

Bernie Mac

My humor had changed from foolishness to making sense.

Bernie Mac

I can act. I’ve been acting for a long time, but like anything else, don’t nobody owe you nothing. You’ve go to pay your dues. You go from A to Z; you don’t go from M to Z.

Bernie Mac

My grandmother always told me how you start is how you finish.

Bernie Mac

We’re so politically correct; we take things so seriously.

Bernie Mac

When I started in the clubs, I had to work places where didn’t nobody else want to work. I had to do clubs where street gangs were, had to do motorcycle gangs, gay balls and things of that nature.

Bernie Mac

Fear is not one of my attributes.

Bernie Mac

I’ve always been a reserved cat. When I play sports, there’s people used to get mad at me because I didn’t hang out and things like that. I’ve never been that kind of person. Nothing has changed in that regard. I’ve never been posse, and all that. I’m a quiet storm.

Bernie Mac

That’s the whole key to anything: Don’t be afraid to fail. And Bernie Mac is not afraid to fail.

Bernie Mac

I’m so black, I leave fingerprints on coal.

Bernie Mac

Why I was so intrigued with Red Skelton was because he was able to make you cry and laugh and the same time. That was power.

Bernie Mac

I have Glocks, .45s, Berettas, Remingtons. I like the marksmanship and the discipline that it takes to be a gun owner. I like the machinery. Being able to take it out and clean it is even more fascinating than having the gun.

Bernie Mac

When I hit my 20s, I struggled to make it. I got married at 19, and my daughter, Je’Niece, was born a year later. I worked blue collar jobs during the day and comedy clubs at night, and I was earning about $25 a year doing stand-up.

Bernie Mac

Like a lot of black people, I grew up straight po’. Wasn’t no question about whether we was po’, either. If you really wanted to know, all you had to do was look in our refrigerator.

Bernie Mac

I was born October 5, 1957, on the South Side of Chicago, in the Woodlawn area, a neighborhood that hasn’t changed much in forty-five years. Our house was on 66th and Blackstone, but the city tore it down when the rats took over.

Bernie Mac

My girlfriend Rhonda, who’s now my wife, I graduated from high school, she got pregnant. My grandfather said, ‘You’ve got to do the right thing.’

Bernie Mac

I want to play a villain – I can’t wait to play a villain.

Bernie Mac

I don’t have no story. Everybody wants this Hollywood story, but the world don’t owe you nothing, man. It’s what you owe the world.

Bernie Mac

I want to have fun. Life ain’t no dress rehearsal. I want to have fun. I’m a comedian; I ain’t no politician. So everything I do is with humor, with love.

Bernie Mac

I was good at keeping my mother from crying.

Bernie Mac

It was rough being dark. I got heat from my own people more than anyone else. I remember going to my mom and saying, ‘Why am I so black?’ And she said, ‘Because I’m black. You just gotta always work harder than the average bear.’

Bernie Mac

I love who I am. I love what I’ve become.

Bernie Mac

I want to speak directly to the audience, to say, ‘I’m like you – I’m frustrated, I’m not an expert, I don’t have a manual on parenting, I make mistakes, I’m selfish too.’

Bernie Mac

Whatever success I’ve had, I always like to top it.

Bernie Mac

I don’t care about how I look; I’m dedicated to the laughs. You know, I used to be a clown, so – my name was Smoothie the Clown. All the training I had, all my training is geared toward making people laugh, and I didn’t care about being cool.

Bernie Mac

If I can tell someone a story that makes them bend over and laugh, that’s bigger than anything else.

Bernie Mac

You know, every time it comes, every time that light comes on or every time that camera comes on, every time that microphone comes on, the Mac Man seek and destroy.

Bernie Mac

I’m an ordinary guy with an extraordinary job.

Bernie Mac

Jerry Weintraub, the producer, might be a pain in the ass, but he really knows how to treat his actors.

Bernie Mac

When I get a chance to play golf or go on a boat with good people, take the boat out and put some lobsters on the grill, get the ice-cold beer and the cigars – that’s heaven here on earth.

Bernie Mac

Every time you see a black romance, it’s over-the-top. There always has to be extreme hostility between the sexes. He has to cheat. She has to show him how independently strong she is, not just as a woman but as a black woman.

Bernie Mac

My comedy comes from pain. I can’t stand to see someone hurting.

Bernie Mac

Bernie Mac don’t sugarcoat.

Bernie Mac